If bacon is fat, I don't want to be right. [RECIPE]

Ok, so that title is a variation on an hysterical comment Bubba made regarding his recent pie gluttony (If pie is fat, I don't want to be right), but really, it goes just as well here.

Y'all, as though I was trying to reinforce the shakiness of my Jew-y center, we just had ourselves a very porky, bacon-y weekend.

I do believe we had a pork item in 3 of 6 meals over the weekend. Sometimes, there was more than one pork item in a single meal.

A SINGLE MEAL WITH TWO PORKS? Bad Jew, Good Sammich.

See, I will blame this on Donk.

She sent me, because she is a lovely friend who knows me right down to my soft seemingly unJew-y center, a recipe for Bacon-Cheddar Quick Bread, which arrived on Friday afternoon folded into an adorable card and tucked into my mailbox just like in the olden days.

FUN! Real mail that doesn't want me to do anything except bake with bacon. I love that a lot.

And since we still had some of our bacon share left this month (applewood smoked maple bacon AT THAT), I decided that after my Run That Doesn't Suck, I would bake us up some of this alleged "Quick" bread for no other reason than we had bacon and then all the other things the recipe called for.

Including fresh sage which is random because who has that on hand? Not usually me, is what I'm saying.

And then, my friends, genius struck.

BAM

What if we had some of last garden tomatoes on this "Quick" bacon bread with some lettuce and the rest of the bacon and called it a BBLT?

IT WOULD BE A BACON SANDWICH WHERE THE BREAD WAS BACON.

Oh damn. That is genius!

See, told you.

Anyway, it goes without saying that the proposal for Bacon Sandwiches Where the Bread is Bacon went over very well with Bubba and no one paid any mind to how many B's were in that sentence or anything. We all just started drooling and getting excited for lunch.

But first, I baked the bread as follows. And, you know, you could, too. And you could also have a Bacon Sandwich Where the Bread is Bacon if you wanted to. Bad Jew or not.

Bacon Sandwich Where the Bread is Bacon
Recipe adapted from Bacon-Cheddar Quick Bread with Dried Pears, Bon Appetit 10/08
My changes in bold

Ingredients
5 bacon slices, cooked/chopped
1 cup shredded white English cheddar
1/2 cup or so of 1/4" white English cheddar cubes
1 T minced fresh sage
1 3/4 c flour
1 T baking powder
1/2 t salt
1/4 t fresh ground black pepper
3 eggs
1/3 c evap milk (we never have milk)
1/3 c extra virgins
(I left out the pears and walnuts because that's stupid)

To make
Crispify your bacon and let it drain somewhere nearby.

Preheat that oven to 350.

Grease or spray flour a metal loaf pan.

Mix all the bacon, cheese and sage in a bowl. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt and pepper in another bowl close by. Whisk eggs, milk and extra virgins in YET another bowl. Pour the egg mix over the flour mix and mix together until just blended. Don't get crazy here. Add the bacon mix and stir some more.

It'll be WICKED sticky.

And also look nasty.

Spread that whole mess in your prepped pan and bake it up for about 55 minutes or until it's browned on top. Try checking in at the 35 minute mark to see if it's looking burny, and if it is OR you're worried it might go in that direction, cover it loosely with foil and put it back in to bake until that toothpick comes out clean like it's supposed to.

Does not taste like the doody it looks like.

I cooled mine on a rack before we charged into it and I think it helped, but the longer you let it cool, the more solid the bread will be and the easier it will be to slice it and sandwich it.

That in there? That is love.

OH! That reminds me, if you need instructions on how to make a BLT or if you just want to see the pictures I took of ours, please follow along:

Those are some of our last tomatoes. Weep.

Ingredients
Bacon bread (see above)
Lettuce leaves
Garden tomatoes
Mayo (OH YES)
Black pepper

To make

Yes, we put mayo on bacon bread. SINNERS.

Slice all ingredients to your own specifications. If you're filthy (we're filthy) shmear a bit of mayo across one or two of those slices of bread and layer tomatoes, bacon and lettuce with a lid of one slice of bread. Eat damn it.

Bacon x2 - so beautiful.

Whether you choose to do so while being surrounded by suspicious looking beasts, that is up to you.

I will have to open my mouth very big to eat your whole sandwich and arm, Mom.
Like so.

And then whether you decide to get the cat into the action by dropping a piece of bacon on her fur and then directing the dog toward it is also up to your discretion. I will say that it adds an entertaining element to lunch time, if you're into that kind of thing.

No cats were harmed during the lunch entertainment.

Enjoy.