Adopt a Crop update: Some firsts

Our weather of late has been, let's say, absurd.

First, it was Normal Spring. Sorta rainy and cool and, like, the perfect time to be growing lettuce and not really seeing any progress otherwise. I was as fine with this setup as any, seeing as warmer temps were coming soon and the tomatoes would stop doing nothing and, instead, start doing something. Like growing.

Then, it was HOLY SHIT SUMMER. Suddenly, after idyllic spring weather lulled us into thinking our normal seasonal routines would be honored, we had three 90+ degree days in a row, and every single thing in the yard freaked out in one way or another.

Plus, we were trying to dig our shorts out of storage as fast as possible and I'd quickly given the finger to all my closed-toe shoes and was re-igniting the love affair with my flip-flops.

The tomatoes grew half a foot in three days, put out blossoms and acted like they'd cracked the shell of springtime hibernation. The beans all germinated and made for the lines. The lettuce put on its Time To Bolt hat and began to expand upward. All the cukes germinated. The basil put on new sets of leaves. The lemon tree covered itself in a blanket of blossoms and smelled like heaven. The artichoke became monstrous. The apple tree started sprouting leaves from branches I'd thought to be dead or just for looks.

It was, to put it plainly, fucking crazy.

Then, WHOOPSY it became spring again. Like, early spring. Like, rainy and cold and maybe there's going to be frost and it was a total gip.

Then, it became muggy. Rainy and muggy and warm enough for shorts but don't think of walking around town in them with your flip-flops because it's raining and people will say rude things to you, like, "You do realize it's raining, right? Aren't you cold in your shorts?"

Um, no. I'm not. Because it's like friggen Hawaii right now with this muggy rain so I'll wear shorts and drink a mai tai on the street if I feel like it and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.

That's sorta where we stand now. It's been raining all weekend and, now, it's supposed to rain tomorrow a bit, and it would seem that the plants got all dressed up with nowhere to go and have decided to go back to the closet for their sweats (or shorts!) since no one is taking them out to dinner after all.

It's sometimes a confusing and disappointing life to be a vegetable plant around here.

However, amidst all the changing into sweats and old ratty hoodies, there have been some good garden firsts.

For the record though, let it not ever be said that rain is a bad thing. We need more rain in CA to stave off drought and keep the news tards from warning of imminent chaos due to Mandatory Rationing and also the plants all seem to respond better to natural rainfall than an extra shot with the sprinklers. So, even though it's been cooler than expected, there's still some growth and extra greenery, and I will accept this. Happily. Because even though the plants really like heat, I start to melt down a little when it goes over 90 degrees.

And I just made plans to go to Phoenix at the end of the month. Hi, I'm retarded.

Anyway- some firsts. Garden firsts:

First lettuce harvest

First strawberry harvest

First beans on the lines

First artichoke to emerge

First cilantro to germinate

First monstrous blossom on the tomatoes

First cherry to turn real red

First full row of corn to germinate

First cucumber to put on its third set of true leaves. (Ok, not a notable "First", but it's the adopted crop, so I had to say something.)

First harvests recorded on the Garden Tracker.

That's right. I've harvested a few cups of lettuce and basil and half a dozen strawberries, so that kicks off the Reap portion of the tracker. Until now we've only been in the Sow category, and now I'm getting what's coming to me.

I hope.

I mean, I hope what's coming to me are pounds and pounds of vegetables and fruits from our garden and not, like, a swift braining with the shovel for being a yard wench and insisting that we save all the bark mulch from the pending contractors by moving it back around the vegetable beds.

I can't have a Bobcat scooping up all of my precious mulch, right?

Oh, also, we're having our patio worked on soon, so you know, many mind-numbing accounts of scary contractor work to come. Probably some shitty neighbor interactions, too. Should be a good time. Stay tuned.