Big times

I do have some garden stuff to report on, but ironically the Big Garden Moment of the Year is currently being overshadowed by my unexpected excitement over a skirt I made about two months ago.

Basically I banged on about this skirt and how the zipper went in just right (ie. not all fucked up and disjointed like they normally do) and how perfect it all looked minus the wrong side out lining hem that I never mentioned because I didn't want to detract from its perfection before I went ahead and stowed it in my dresser and didn't look at it again until yesterday.

Ah yesterday, day before a nice little vacay from the office. Before I head out on a little beach jaunt with Bubba so that we can drink and be a three year long married couple back where it all started and won't it be so nice.

Except that I have one more day of work and, suddenly, nothing at all to wear.

Not sure how a three day week can be harder to manage wardrobe-wise than a five day week, but that is how it usually works out in my nutty scene. Somehow I manage to get by week after five day week fully clothed and not stressed out (ok, somewhat stressed out - nothing is stress free for me when it comes to standing in front of my closet) and able to put together perfectly acceptable outfits every single day, while looking forward to my upcoming short weeks when I won't have to agonize over *which* day will get to be White Pants Day (love my white pants a lot) and where should I slot Jeans Day so that I don't look like the slacker in the office that wears jeans every day and what about a skirt on Monday and then maybe those long shorts on the day that I'm not bringing Jada so that I can wear my cute heels that don't go to the dog park with the shorts so my legs look long...

See? Stress.

But still, I look forward to my short weeks because I have this unprecedented notion that I will be able to so easily put together an outfit that I will virtually fly from shower to closet to makeup to car without a moment of hesitation. And, for sure, I'll wear my white pants because they are The Best.

No.

This is never how it works out. This was the long awaited, easy to dress myself, three day week and I stood in front of my closet yesterday for at least fifteen minutes trying on all manner of outfits (even a pair of my wool pants that are too hot during winter months) before I heard the shower door open alerting me to the fact that Bubba was out of the shower and I was about to get the "You're still not dressed? How many outfits have you tried on? And is it one of Those Days?" looks when he comes into the bedroom in his towel hoping for a few minutes and space in front of the closet to get dressed.

Every day I try to be dressed and out of the way by the time I hear the shower door open, and most days I just plain fail. Then I gracefully parlay into a meltdown known to every woman as "I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR!"

So, yesterday, as the sweat beads were beginning to form on the back of my neck (is that normal?) I darted away from the closet in an effort to stage the appearance of normalcy for Bubba's entrance and randomly opened the dresser not expecting to find anything acceptable in the piles of mostly winter-type clothes.

But the skirts! I forgot (read: had stopped thinking clearly during the early stages of my meltdown) about all my skirts!

Of course this tips off a whole new wardrobe scenario that I won't bore you with but goes something like; Hmmm...how about this one? No, too casual. This one? No, I already wore a black skirt this week. This one? Eh, I'd have to iron it. This one? No, Kristie has the same one and what if she wears it today?! This one? No, only my long sleeve top goes with that one and its too hot....you know. (See? Boring.)

Anyway, at the bottom of this pile of otherwise unacceptable skirts was, TA DA!, the Barcelona Skirt of yore.

"Huh", I thought to myself, "perhaps today is the day I wear clothes I made myself. To work. Where my sewing skills may betray me at any moment and potentially expose my ass to my co-workers due to a seam I didn't close properly or a zipper that I forgot to install because my cocktail had managed to cover that part of the pattern."

Yes, folks, my Big Time yesterday was Wearing Clothes I Sewed Myself to Work.

What, this is not Big Time for you fancy people who make all their own clothes and never have a bathing suit area body part pop out of a faulty seam?

Well then, you're very fancy then and can fuck off.

Meanwhile, I had a very empowering day of wondering whether my ass was jiggling freely about behind me for all the corporate world to see while I got a healthy handful of compliments on my "Cute new skirt! Where did you get it?"

I discovered a whole new joy that comes with saying, "Actually, I sewed it myself." And then a WHOLE OTHER new joy that comes when people go, "NO! Really!? That is so awesome! And it is SO cute!" And then the annoying part when they go either, "Can you make ME one?" or "You should sell them!". To which the answer is either, "No" or, "That's illegal." thus taking some of the shine off my recent I Sew My Own Cute Clothes empowerment from the moment before.

Why do people try to ruin everything?

Anyway, big day yesterday. I finally wore something that I made myself to a public setting where I was going to have to wear it all day even if it started falling apart because I was at work and leaving half hour after you arrive with your whole ass hanging out is frowned upon. When nothing bad happened and then some people said nice things I started to think I could take over the world. Or at least I could be trusted to maybe make some more skirts.

Oh, and this top.

And since yesterday was the last day of my three day week before Vacay with Bubba, that must mean that today is my Free Day to Fuck Around and I must be off to rid the shelves at my favorite fabric store of all their clearance Amy Butler remnants which are on sale for just this week.

Bye bye.