Adopt a crop update: The Day has happened

I've talked about The Big Garden Moment of the Year before, but usually when I say it I'm talking about the tomatoes and who the hell cares what's going on with the rest of the vegetables because WOO the tomatoes are coming in and we're about to be awash in The Best Tomato Sauce Ever. Yep. WOO!

Not this year.

Well, OK, later this summer I'll still flip out when the tomatoes come in. Don't worry. You'll be able to see the melt down right here, so don't be disappointed and think I'm going to start getting all normal on you or anything.

Phew, I know.

This year I'm just introducing another Big Garden Moment because I obviously need more things to freak out about and because HELLO ADOPT A CROPPERS (yeah, you're your own group now. Excited?) the first cucumber of the season has arrived WOO!

Just the right size. For a pickle.

Also, subsequently, it has been eaten, so no pickles yet, but with the way this plant is producing baby fruits, I anticipate having at least a few chances to pickle things. And since we have runner-up plant #2 grown from seed and so.very.slow.to.grow - we may have two waves of cucumbers with which to play out our pickling fantasies.

Hi. I'm small. Can you see me? I'm behind all the fucking nasturtium.

There's a lot of tiny future pickles right there. You see them.

Oh my gawd the glamour, I know.

Anyhoo - I made a pretty great Just Picked From My Backyard salad all from things that grew there except the arugula which technically came from the farm share which is kind of in my backyard since it's local grown, but you know what I mean. The excitement here is that this salad, with its radish and its snap peas and its cucumber (woo) all got freshly yanked from the yard by my two hands and that makes me feel like a frontierswoman which you know I like.


Plus the radish was sorta misshapen which I also like because weird looking things entertain me.

My other side is bulbousy which I know is not a real word.

And while all Cucumber Mania was going on and my attention was diverted, the rest of the garden decided to keep growing despite my apparent lack of interest in their activities.

How nice that they can be independent adults that don't need my constant supervision and coddling.

This pretty chard forest is scarier than it looks.

The birthplace of many bulbousy radishes.

I tried to kill this beet and I am sorry.

That scar on the right side may or *may not* be from my thumbnail whoops.

Snap peas and beans. Growing simultaneously and with limited success. Oh.

Midget cantaloupe at its most midgetish.

And just to give the tomatoes their due, because god knows they're such fucking prima donnas that if I don't they'll just get all up in a huff and die just to spite me or something, I've seen some impressive progress in The Hedge.

These are just one bunch of tomatoes breaking loose in the new fancy ass cages which I am enjoying a lot even though my neighbor pointed out that they are nothing more than large gauge fencing wound in a circle and secured at the edges.

Why must people burst my bubble? Isn't it good that simple things make me happy? Would they rather I demand diamond studded tomato cages? I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE HAPPY WITH MY STUPID SIMPLE THINGS OK.

GAH!

We are simple fabulous tomatoes and we like it when people fawn over us.
We also do not ridicule people for their simple tastes.
Enjoy our beauty.

My plants are so self-actualized. Also here is a volunteer sunflower that grew in front of the gate. I think he might be a flight risk.

Do you think you can catch me? I'm very fast.

I promise to stop animating my plants now.