I like you and this is how I show it.

At the holidays I like to defy natural law by finding time to craft/bake/wrap/deliver gifts to my coworkers. It adds to the illusion that I have A Life Outside of Work, which I enjoy perpetuating since it is a much rumored fantasy that a lot of us harbor, here so close to the grindstone.

But I'm always self-conscious when giving handcrafted gifts. Because while *I* may be handmaking gifts because I feel like that is a way to show how much I like you, *you* maybe think I'm being cheap or that the gift is ugly/useless.

Then there's this other issue I have: waste. I hate waste. Which, obviously, is a problem around the holidays when stores are giving away jumbo rolls of wrapping paper or dropping tiny purchases into huge handled paper bags so that you can SOMEHOW make it out to your car four feet away with all your so heavy two chapsticks or whatever.

Oh the filthy conflict.

And when I started thinking about what handcrafty thing I would make for gifts I also didn't want to be making something that would get shoved in a drawer/closet/attic/goodwill bag - because that is also waste and I will.not.have.it.

In the end, after all my wavering, I ended up on scarves. Double sided fleece scarves with the handy pull through slot so that you can really cinch that bitch down around your neck in the cold winter times. Good for walking the dog in the cold weather, good for wearing into the office, good to have in the car for a chilly trip out to get more booze (because you realize you just ran out, not because you're already hammered and need more. I do not condone the drunk driving, ok.)

Oh, and even better, roll the scarves up with some ribbon (I'll admit, I bought this. Do not worry, I will use it all. FORGIVE!) and a recycled gift card tag. No paper necessary. No tape necessary. No horrible crippling what-kind-of-a-consumer-asshole-am-I-anyway guilt afterward. Oh yes, this will work.

Thankfully, I found some nice fleece at The Store Which Shall Not Be Named Because The People That Work There Are Assholes and also got some sweet looking cards this year from nice people who have my home address which made for some hot recycled gift tags when cut and punched just so. They masqueraded nicely as Fancy New Gift Tags even though they were Just Old Cards Cut Into New Shapes.



The fact that this new gift card recycling project has turned into a new obsession for me and has caused me to hoard cards with scary regularity will just have to go unspoken, thankyouverymuch.

And with all my holiday gift-giving criteria successfully checked off the list (you knew there was a list, right? This is me we're talking about here.), I baked. And then I wrapped that baking up with Fancy New Gift Tags and ribbon, too. And then I thought about wrapping myself in ribbon and reused gift tags but thought better of it since I'm not sure that is what we're calling Sexy these days in the Finny household.

No. Sexy for us is hooded sweatshirts, fried chicken, gin/bourbon and HD Sunday NFL Ticket. We are so trailer.