I had a brief, but eventful, separation from my sanity today.
When I came back to my senses I had signed myself up to run a 10K.
Panic.
Granted, this is something I've been threatening (mostly myself) with for a while now, but deep DEEP down, I never thought I'd actually go through with it. Knowing that if I never actually signed up for one, I wouldn't have to hold myself to it.
Sidenote: I hate flakes. And since going back on a registered event definitely qualifies as flakiness, I am morally bound to do anything I sign up for.
So today, during a weak moment in which I was at once feeling strong from a successful morning run, sympathetic to a local tragedy and egged on by my unforgivably upbeat cubemate - I signed up.
Then I realized what I had done and immediately threw myself into an all out breakdown. In fact, it's possible that I'm still aglow with anxious perspiration and clutching a handful of my cubemates hair.
Even after doing the math and realizing that this 10K is *only* 3 miles longer than my usual run, which should be attainable, there is some actual *training* involved in a 10K run and that makes me nauseous with anxiety.
I mean, as it is, three miles is no picnic. I'm not one of those smiley, gleeful, has a dreamy look on my face to the point where passersby want to throw their triple venti mochas on me, kind of runners.
No.
I'm much more the, oh my god someone call 911 because I think that girl is going to collapse on top of herself despite her snazzy North Face hoodie and GPS watch kind of runners.
I admit, I like gear. This condition has only gotten worse since my blissful matrimonials a few years ago when I married The Ultimate Gear Weenie. So, when I started running regularly, I got a lot of stuff to do it, even though it is way less gear intensive than any other sport I do, and is at it's core, a relatively low-tech activity. I'm a little ashamed of myself, since Bubba and I have spent plenty of time making fun of the new climbers we've run into in the park who are hiking up the trail to the rock already wearing their harnesses (with store tags fully intact), slick scratchless helmets and a full rack of shiny new carabiners slung across their chests.
Regardless, I did make a few superfluous gear purchases for the sake of running. And now I have to make good on my purchases and actually use these Pieces of Wonder.
So, the plan is to take this handy dandy training schedule I ripped off of Runners World and my shamefully exotic gear and go trotting off into the sunrise 4 days a week until 4/1 when the race happens and I can finally shed myself of this convulsion inducing commitment.
Oh please cross all your fingers for me. This could very well get ugly. In a snotty, hacking, wobbling, tantrum throwing kind of way.
Fingers crossed and you can so do this! I am rooting for you my friend! :)
ReplyDeleteYou can SOOOO do this. I have faith in you. If you can shoot for 10 min / mile, that is awesome. Then just don't think about it and punch out a 60 min. run. You Can Do It!!! I will be your cheerleader!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same, last night, as I jumped into freezing cold water (post bloody nose- yes it's all mental now) to begin my team in training workout, I nearly freaked out from a foot cramp. Here I am mid-lane, with a shiny new swimmers cap, and goggles with every old lady in Sunnyvale leaving me behind in their dust.
If you need a training partner let me know, 6.2 miles will be a leg of my tri. I run on Mondays, Thursdays and Sunday minimum 30-45 min.
-Steph
Right on! You'll be great. (And I would know, 'cause I'm a fancy TV star. Heh.) Seriously though, there's nothing like seeing yourself on TV to make a girl want to start running. Will you take a few miles for me?
ReplyDeleteHere's something to take your mind off the anxiety-
ReplyDeleteYou've been tagged! Come to my website to see the rules! http://sasw.blogspot.com
Oh, piccola Bombshell #2, God Bless Ya. I love this. And I KNOW how you are now morally bound, yes indeedy, I understand this "I am obligated" thing, which is actually very good, you see, because thing of being able to say, Yes, people, I did run a 10K, HAH! More than I'll ever be able to say, that's for sure!! Keep us posted on your training regimen and rely on us for support! I'll be your couch potato cheerleader for sure!!
ReplyDeletehmm. once upon a time i raced, not ran, raced half marathons. then the inevitable, yet inexplicable thing happened - "runners leg." two years later i've now nursed my way back to three miles. my pride however, is somewhere down in the gutter. i really want to sign up for another 10k, but i'm scared to fail at a distance that used to be so easy.
ReplyDeletebut then i think about the first time i did it, and i was a horrible runner. i was overweight and out of shape, and i did it. and (i see your picture you are certainly not the first, and most likely not the latter) you will DO IT, find out you LOVE IT and be so glad and proud.
I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes. maybe i'll try to find one in switzerland, this is kind of inspirational :)