Thursday, September 14, 2006

Tomato Tunnel [NOT PORN]

Let us bring the Tomato Tunnel into the light of day so that you can all stop thinking me batshit.







What you are looking at is a (one) tomato plant that has so excessively overgrown it's laughably underachieving tomato "cage" that is had to be staked up with 2x2s, reigned in with garden twine, wrapped with multiple levels of chicken wire in two of it's many growth stages and has finally had to have an extra wing put on to it's acreage in order to accommodate it's latest growth spurt. Basically, it's taken on the Bay Area motto of "If you can't grow out, grow up". I'm glad our plants have learned to manage urban sprawl.

You can probably see now why I'm looking so skeptically at my own wee tomato plants that, while reasonably productive, have way failed in the big 'n crazy department. Especially when compared to my neighbor's interpretation of tomato plants. I mean, can you even call this a tomato plant anymore? It's taking on the proportions of a one-car garage for godssake. A garage with a tunnel attached. Perhaps she is trying to annex my side of the fence by growing her plants, high and low, onto my property. Or, perhaps, she has just mastered the art of tomato growing and not-so-much the art of garden management. Who's to say?

Anyways, cool no?

Also cool:




Yes, these are sunflowers gifted to me by the aforementioned neighbors. Yes, the plants are some of the most successful in my garden. No, I am not jealous or bitter. But I am wildly proud of my super extra special resilient melon crop. You know, better to try to redirect the attention to *anything* in my yard that I can at least claim partial credit for.

Again, very, very self-involved.

LOOK AT IT HARD AND THINK FANCY THINGS ABOUT ME AS A GARDENER:



For those of you who are hard-of-counting - that's three new fatty melons in there. Woo! I will eat them and think about what a genius I am.

And not about sabotaging my neighbors garden when they're out of town.

3 comments:

  1. The tomato tunnel is amazing and I can't express my jealousy over the melons. Please notice I completely avoided the other melon post where I could have let my inner middle-schooler run free with the melon comments.

    It looks like I'm moving to the Atlanta area next year so perhaps I will have melons of my own.

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  2. That's not a tomato plant. That's a tomato tree. Holyfreakinmoses!

    And as an aside, I'm still laughing about the [NOT PORN]

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  3. Steven - Atlanta! Excellent! Can you please spoil us with a million ways to devour actual ripe peaches?! The ones we have here are just so not the same thing. All mealy and not good. And I hope you get some melons in the ground. They've been amazing. I recommend these Super Dew Hybrids - clearly, they can sustain multiple attacks from the evil Wilt and continue to produce.

    Caro - You're right. We've also been calling this the Tomato Tree. Also thrown around: Tomato Hedge, Tomato Barn, Tomato Tower, and What the hell is that? :)

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[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.

Cheers.