Hit me. No, for reals.

Where has the time gone, my friends?

One long week ago I was blogging about sewing and crafting and gardening and baseball and Happy.

And now? Well, I'm recovering from a week spent sitting on my tush at a conference in Vegas.

Think meals served in chaffing dishes, monstrously uncomfortable chairs, long-winded sessions, endless strings of cocktails and late nights spent propped up at the blackjack table. Really, not the things dreams are made of. (Ok, so the last two might be, but it all gets tainted when it comes in the context of a conference. You know.)

However, I did come home with more than double the cash I left with and can now get back to the good things in life that were doubling in size, as well, while I was gone.

Namely, Pumpkinzilla:


Need proof? This is what he looked like when I left:

5/24 (Pumpkinzilla is in the bed on the right)

And I nearly passed away when I saw what the peas and lettuce had been up to.

To turn a phrase, they've gone over the wall.





I'm going to have to dig through my seed packets and figure out which lettuce this is because it's friggen the most awesome lettuce ever. I think it's some type of organic heatwave lettuce that likes the sun. Either way, it is going nuts in the garden - beyond our eating abilities I'm afraid, ruffles nicely, can hold up to a strong spray from the hose and doesn't seem to fall prey to evil white flies, etc.

However, there was a hitchhiker who made it to the cutting board last night, but was rejected to the yard before he could become part of our taco salads. Now I wish I'd photographed him, because he was so delightfully green and frisky. Although, I dare say he would not have been delicious. Gack.

Also doing well are the cukes



Watermelon


and Honeydude

I wish I could report that the tomatoes had sprung to life in my absense too, but not so much. I mean, they're alive. And they're green. But they're just not bushing out with the enthusiasm of say, the pumpkins. It seems they're not quite the "joiners" I thought they'd be. You know, following the crowd and succuming to peer pressure and all.

It has become clear that the tomatoes are not part of the cool crowd. Perhaps they'll start to fill out soon and the popular girls will let them sit with them at lunch.


If not, the tomatoes will be able to flaunt their fancy degrees and six figure salaries at their first reunion while the pumpkins drag their drunk husbands away from the cash bar so they can go home in their Astrovan to their six kids.

Meanwhile, the tomatoes have only produced a paltry few blossoms and aren't even in the same league as my neighbors tomato plants that taunt me when I'm in the garden.

If I can see past my own shame, perhaps I will post some photos of HER tomato plants which seem to be in the midst of their growth spurt and are certainly at least in training bras by now. Bitches.

At least some of my plants are cool. I mean, check these babies out -- I'm pretty sure there's a captain of the cheerleading squad, varsity quarterback, student body president and token "bad boy" in here: