When life gives you tornados, make daffodils.

We got a tornado warning and then I nearly met my end slipping on godonlyknowswhat in the kitchen today, so since everything's completely jacked already, I figure putting up a super random post is at least acceptable, if not totally apropos.

So, as far as random goes, here's some random Spring, in case there are funnel clouds touching down in your neighborhood even though you don't live in Kansas.

We should really have been cut and put inside for this weather.

I was told it was Spring. Who lied?

I am too dainty for the likes of funnel clouds.

I'm California's state flower, not Kansas's.

We have nothing to say on the matter.

Perhaps I should be nailing up plywood over this door.

I got nothing.

Pretty sure the bird bath is going to crest soon.

Strawberry. That's all I got.

And then, if you care to read on to more randomness, allow me to share a short little story about two meek tiny women who stood hovering endlessly and unmoving around the desserts in the cafe today, simply pointing and making small yumyum noises while I tried to stand patiently behind them to get the cannoli I'd been staring at since the moment I came in to get my lunch.

When they refused to either move, reach meaningfully for any dessert item or disa-FUCKING-ppear, I finally reached around them and took what I wanted.

And then received the four pronged stare of the mightily jealous.

They made it try to look like they were appalled that I'd circumvent their presence in order to get at the desserts, but really I know they were deeply sad that they themselves weren't going to indulge in a cannoli the size of my thumb. Because OH you know that will go right to my toothpick thighs, Heidi and what not.

I think you know that I took that weeny cannoli down in two bites right in front of their gaunt faces and also, BONUS, felt zero guilt because I barely had any lunch. Then I took another dessert because, why not, let's see if we can get these girls to pass out from their envy.

Then I walked out of the cafe and, without spilling my drink, skiied halfway across the cafe's entrance atop an errant Ihavenoideawhat that had the tenacity to be waiting for my sharp boot heel.

WEEEEEEEEEE.

Now my hip flexor feels weird. And I have a race tomorrow. And we have tornado warnings. And daffodils.

There - that about sums up the randomness of this day, don't you think?

Happy weekends, out there.