October things and future freaking out

It's random mind-wandering thought time around here, but thankfully it's October and since all of these thoughts occur and have something ever so slightly to do with October, I have myself a handy theme.

I need a theme, people. Or a guiding notion. Or something to keep me from talking endlessly about, say, the process for converting a wood fireplace to gas and how I will be bear-hugging the Heatilater blower all winter.

See - it could get pretty fucking random around here if I'm away from a theme too long. Or, like illegal in 23 states what with the fireplace love.You see.

So, October then! What's up with October?

Well, firstly, my Giants are in the playoffs and, so far, kicking some serious ass via the bullpen. YAY! And that's all I'll say about that because I don't really need to go into my baseball love. It's there. It's a part of me. I can't release myself from its grasps and, since it's October, it's an ever-present state of mind especially since my boys are actually in the post-season for once.

*Quietly chanting* Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants. Giants.

Nextly, there are spiders all over the place and, most noticeably, all over my garden - making the harvesting of end of season produce a special webtastic event.

Also chanting: Will not put face in spider web. Will not...

See, unlike those of you who are, at this moment, stripping yourselves nude and shrieking through the halls of your office or house trying to clear your faces and hairs of imagined spiders and their webs, I love the spiders.

Can you imagine if she was in your hairs? YEEK.

I mean, I don't want their webs wrapped around my face or, say, back of my head when I go to put on a hoodie that's been hanging from the coat rack since last winter (Blech. Imagine it. It happened to Bubba. He asked me since when were we the Addams Family and I said, "Since we hired a cleaning lady that either doesn't know the words 'cobweb' or 'spiderweb' or doesn't care."), but I love that they're out in my garden right now eating the nasties that start to multiply toward the end of the season to wreak havoc on whatever produce remains out there.

"I love nasties. Burp."

I'm just waiting for one of them to snare a cucumber beetle so that I can give her (these big spiders, I've heard, are all ladies and the dudes are these little insignificant things that exist only for sexiness and then disappear. Little trivia for you, there.) a little high five and then carefully navigate around her web to pick a languishing tomato. 

Don't hate the playah, hate the game.

So yeah, the garden's getting creepy what with the spiders and webs and the dying back of the huge tomato plants that have built me a cave and the vines crawling everywhere making a trip to the garden for some basil an acrobatic task fit for a Cirque Du Soleil training group. 

I haven't been able to walk between these plants since June.

I can't do some of these positions in bikram class, but if there's a tomato branch in danger of being snapped by my wayward foot, well, I can contort myself magically to miss it.

I can't be out there crushing tomato plants, that would be ridiculous.

Plus, they're bigger than me and would win in a fight for sure.

So, yeah, tomato yoga and spider caves. My life gets weird in October.

This is the prettiest tomato that I grew. That's all.

It also gets stressy a little bit because NaNoWriMo is next month and the emails from the NaNoWriMo folks have begun to crop up in the inbox and in Facebook and I'm realizing that I'm going to have to make good on my flushed-with-a-recent-NaNoWriMo-win promise to go at it again. 

Though I only made that promise to myself and maybe to Bubba, but I like pretty web badges and letting my brain's unpredictable turns leak out onto the page, so I'm planning to give it another go. Though with the premise I have in mind for this year, there will be fewer alien dicks and extraneous boobs and spaceships landing in Palm Desert.

I know. What WAS I thinking last year? Or perhaps, drinking, is the better question. Oh well, that's so 11 months ago and now we're on to bigger and less purple things.

Did I tell you there was a purple alien last year? Really. My brain is an odd place.

But, come November, you can call probably expect a bit of YAY NaNoWriMo has begun! excitement and then a bit of I am going to be a NaNoWriMo failure because my brain has halted all its literary functions and I haven't typed a new word in 78 minutes! sadness and then a Send Help! I'm buried in caramel corn in my office because I wanted to see if I could fill my house with and then swim through caramel corn instead of writing my daily 1,667 words! alert and then, if we're lucky, a Phew. I finished my 50,000 words and am now going to crawl under this rug and contemplate the dust bunnies. sigh of relief.

If we're lucky.

So, yeah - that's October for you. In a weird little shell.