Wednesday, July 08, 2009

They don't miss me.

I hadn't intended to immediately come back and report on whether the garden actually missed me, but given their obvious response, I feel I should provide an update.

Their response, when translated by me, Vegetable Whisperer to the Stars, boils down to, "We don't need your ass around here. Thankyouverymuch."

Oh.

I've been back at work going on three days now and this was apparently all the garden wanted in the whole wide world so that they could get things happening in a meaningful way because yesterday I found the #1 RIPENING TOMATO HOLY SHIT, silks (SILKS!) on the corn and buds all over my new kumquat tree.

You see me. I see you. Let's get on with our lives.

Dude. Your silk is showing.

DUDE! YOUR SILK IS SHOWING!

Stop talking, idiot! She sees us!

I don't have anything funny to say. I'm a kumquat, that's funny enough.

So, not only does the garden not miss me, I do believe my presence might have been keeping it from its regularly scheduled business of making food.

Or OR maybe the garden took my being home as an indication that it, too, should take a breather, and so spent the last two months sort of hanging back (except for the beans, who are apparently of the ALL WORK NO PLAY variety) finishing knitting projects and taking their dog to the beach.

But who can say? These vegetables can be so coy.

Anyway, that's all I came here to say. That I spotted the first (and there are actually a few) ripening tomato last night and then nearly stroked out in the garden as I tried to convey the magnitude of my discovery to Bubba.

And then we petted the corn. Ok, *I* petted the corn while Bubba stood there and mumbled something quietly to himself about poorly made life choices.

And then, while he was holding his head in his hands, I whispered some sweet nothings to my beloved new kumquat about how I would eat each and every fruit he produced and feel free to challenge me with a bumper crop oh tiny dwarf kumquat I love you and such.

Ok, that's all then. I promise I'll talk about something else next time besides the garden.

6 comments:

  1. I wish I could take a lesson from your veggies in being coy. One thing I'm not? COY. Obnoxiously honest? Yep. Got that down pat.
    For example: your garden loves you. And that silk? Totally awesome.

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  2. Your corn is so cute with it's little top knot of silky goodness.
    And blushing tomatoes...my goodness. My tomato plants, what there is of them, have been trying to get to the phone to call Tomato Protective Services on me. I keep forgetting that I have them and they are laying all over the ground. My bad! There are actually flowers on them and I do water them when I think about it. Is this criminal? Am I going to be arrested by the plant police now? Cause if I am, I was just kidding about the tomatoes ont he ground thing.

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  3. Bubba won't be muttering about poor life choices for very long. His mouth will be too full of fresh corn on the cob.

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  4. I'm thinking August is going to be a VERY tasty month at Casa Finny this year. That corn looks wunderbar!

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  5. LMAO You're cracking me up!

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[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.

Cheers.