ONLY COOKING MY FACE OFF IS WHAT.
Yeah. I've cooked some stuff recently that was rul good.
And I baked a thing that was rul good.
And I have a crush on a new vegetable.
Because that's a thing a person can have - a crush on a vegetable. It's called love, people, and I encourage you to try it.
In my case, I have Bubba and Jada and life and this muther fucking parsley:
|It's as big as my fork, milder than your typical parsley and, after a light frost, is just a little bit sweet so that you go, "WHATTHA YUM?" when you first try it.|
Everyone, I'd like you to meet the fourth member of our love square - Giant of Italy parsley.
And before you get all, "You can't love parsley like you love Bubba..." and other nonsensical shit, do remember that I tend to get a little overexcited about vegetables.
I mean, right?
And I have tasted a lot of types of parsley and grown a lot of types of parsley, so it's not like I just tried it for the first time and declared it the soul-fillingest parsley of all time.
It's totally not like that.
Because, until I just had this parsley the other night with butternut squash ravioli I awesomely froze for myself a few months ago, I just grew parsley because it was an herb I chopped up and put in the base of every soup and meatloaf and meatballs and a billion other things I make because parsley is a standard.
|If by "Standard", I mean "BITCHIN", which I do.|
Or am I the only one that puts parsley in everything? Is this maybe a personal problem I have? Is it possible that I don't really want to lay down my life for this variety of parsley now that I've enjoyed its riches in my mouth which sounds really really bad?
No, none of that can be right.
Mostly because it sounds absolutely lewd.
And, while I do love this parsley, I don't want to, like, marry it or something.
I just want to eat it with every meal.
Or whatever. I'm sort of a slut for food lately because I keep getting really good stuff from work and then from my garden and then my lovely Bubba who announced that he'd like a chocolate cake which prompted me to (accidentally) find the world's most incredible chocolate cake recipe.
So yeah, fuck vegetables for one second - chocolate cake.
That's the real story here.
|Just you try to look away. IT'S AN UNDOABLE THING.|
Firstly, I'll warn you that the recipe is from Cook's Illustrated, so while 100% awesome and worth it, you need to be prepared to dirty every tool in your kitchen twice and have to do dishes in between projects.
Because this recipe is a total project.
Like, I had a strategy going into it (make the frosting first, put it in the fridge to firm up, THEN bake the cake, etc)(hey, that's a strategy!)(Shut up.) and there was proprietary shopping involved and then there was lying down with a cocktail involved after I finished baking and frosting this cake.
Sort of took it out of me, all of that mid-stream dish doing.
But I can say that it's the best chocolate cake I've ever tasted, Bubba nearly flushed his wedding ring down the toilet when he took his first bite and declared he loved it more than anything in the world and even my not-sweets-eating boss was "stoked" on it.
The only things I did off-recipe were to bake it in a 9x12 glass dish as a sheet cake rather than as cupcakes, not try to fill the thing awkwardly with ganache and then I put a bit of this awesome vanilla bean baker's salt on top.
Then Bubba pledged his love to me (as long as the cake is joining us) for the rest of his life. Again. Because he did already do that once when we got married. Before I learned how to make this cake. So, like, I know he didn't just do it for the cake.
Can you imagine?
Anyway, I am also going to shill like the shilliest shiller from shilltown right now:
Yeah. I grew that.
And, FOR TESTING PURPOSES ONLY, I brought it home from the farm to make sure that it was, um, shelf stable - yeah, that's it - and also edible.
|"Edible" is the lamest word for this basil.|
Then I felt crazy and like a seasonal cheater when I actually went into a grocery store (FRIGHT) and bought sweet red bell peppers.
Like a total traitor.
I mean, they're still organic and they're actually from our ranches in Mexico, but eating bell peppers in winter feels wrong and naughty.
|So, spank me. Because my enchilada peppers are THE FUCKING MOST.|
At least I put some of the cilantro from work on top. Ripped it out of the ground myself earlier in the day.
And also some of these chives.
|Gee. Hope there's enough for the harvests.|
So yeah, cooking, working, eating, skiing Utah, riding and running the Santa Cruz mountains, emptying and refilling the liquor cabinet, repeating - that's what's been going on over here.
Lest you think all we do is fuck with the fish.
|Come at me, bro.|